The biggest check-in ever

I've missed hotels. Here are some of my favourite resorts, boutiques and B&Bs – and least favourite marketing memes the hospitality sector uses

Feeling reflective: Still from the new Fairmont film (see below)

I am down to my last pair of white fluffy slippers. In the bathroom cupboard, the supply of miniature toiletries is running critically low. There are only two hotel pens (Mandarin Oriental, Doha and Radisson Collection, Stockholm) left in the desk drawer.

My career as a hospitality kleptoman…